Thoughts Before The Alarm Sounds

      Memorial Day, formerly Decoration Day, was originally observed on the 30th of May. (The bill changing it to the last Monday in May was passed on June 28, 1968. It became effective at the Federal level in 1971.)       Decoration Day was originated in 1868 by order of the head of the Grand Army of the Republic. It was supposed to be a day when the graves of the war dead were to be decorated with flowers.       There are two versions as to why May 30th was chosen - one declares that at that time flowers would be in bloom all over the country; the other says that it was chosen because it was not the anniversary of any particular battle of the Civil War.       My first remembrance of a particular Memorial Day is the one in 1941. At the time I had been taking music lessons for eight or nine months, and had been participating in the “junior” high school band for most of that time. The “...

      Please bear with me for a little background on my main subject.       As with most nations, the U.K. is experiencing serious problems with its financial system. For the calendar year 2009 the UK budget deficit was 11.4% of GDP, and its general government debt was 68.1% of GDP. Although the UK is not a member of the European Common Market, these ratios compare to the market’s targets of 3% and 60% respectively. As a result Queen Elizabeth II gave an austerity speech on the opening day of Parliament this past Tuesday.       Some of the queen’s comments outlined changes to the traditional political system, e.g., a new voting system for members of the House of Commons, fewer and more "equal-sized constituencies," and the right of voters to recall elected lawmakers who are found guilty of serious wrongdoing. In the near future there will be proposals to make the House of Lords “wholly or mainly elected.” ...

      Two recent news stories make me wonder whatever happened to common sense. Both are taken from the Lancaster Pennsylvania Intelligencer Journal/New Era.       Four years ago a local woman was going through a very rough period in her life. She had been through a divorce, her daughters were all grown and had left home, and she was suffering from a debilitating illness which left her in a wheelchair. Unable to perform her preschool teaching job, she was stuck in depression.       One day she found a tiny bird which had fallen from its nest. It still had fuzz on its head and had not yet grown feathers. In spite of the fact that experts predicted it would not last more than three days, she nursed it back to health.       The bird eventually grew into a female house finch. After it learned to fly, it had the run of the house. It didn’t like the darkness, so her “mother” got her a night...

      On April 10, 1912, the luxurious ship, Titanic, set sail from Southampton, England enroute to New York City. Carrying over 1,300 passengers and a crew numbering just over 900, the “unsinkable” ship was the largest vessel afloat.       Its 159 furnaces burned 600 tons of coal and produced 100 tons of ash each day in order to achieve a top speed of 23 knots.       Some of the most prominent people of the day were traveling in first class; the passenger list included names such as Astor, Guggenheim, Strauss and of course Margaret “Molly” Brown (better known as the Unsinkable Molly Brown because of her efforts in aiding other passengers as the ship sank.) In today’s dollars, passenger rates ran from $900 in steerage to about $100,000 in some first class cabins.       The first hint of trouble came at 1:45 pm on April 14, when the ship Amerika warned that there were icebergs ahead. I...

      I first published this post on November 7, 2009, with the title “A Christian Dichotomy.” I think it bears repeating.       In 2007, Jamie Leigh Jones testified at a Congressional hearing that she had been gang-raped in 2005 by as many as seven co-workers while working in Iraq for KBR, a subsidiary of Halliburton. After an Army doctor examined her and gave forensic material to her employer, she was placed under guard in a shipping container, where she remained without food or drink for 24 hours. Finally a friendly guard gave her a cell phone which she used to call her father. She was released only after her father asked the US embassy to intervene.       When Jones tried to take legal action, Halliburton/KBR used a clause in her contract, which required disputes to be settled by arbitration, to block such action.       In 2007, Jones filed a joint civil suit against Halliburton/K...

      Because of the nomination of Dr. Rand Paul to be the Republican candidate for Senator from Kentucky, I have decided to take a closer look at Libertarianism. I must admit that on first glance it sounds appealing.       According to the Libertarian Party’s web site, “Libertarians strongly oppose any government interfering in their personal, family and business decisions. Essentially, we believe all Americans should be free to live their lives and pursue their interests as they see fit as long as they do not harm one another. In a nutshell, we are advocates for a smaller government, lower taxes and more freedom.”       According to Libertarianism: A Primer by David Boaz, “Libertarians defend each person's right to life, liberty, and property-rights that people have naturally, before governments are created. In the libertarian view, all human relationships should be voluntary; the only actions that should be...

      The day after winning the Republican Senate primary in Kentucky, Libertarian Rand Paul suffered an attack of foot-in-mouth disease. In an interview with MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow on Wednesday, he was asked whether he believed businesses should have the right to refuse service to African-Americans.       Yes,” Paul said. “I’m not in favor of any discrimination of any form. … But I think what’s important about this debate is not written into any specific ‘gotcha’ on this, but asking the question: what about freedom of speech? Should we limit speech from people we find abhorrent? Should we limit racists from speaking?”       Paul has previously gone on record as favoring the Civil Rights Act of 1964 in the public domain , but believes that the government has overstepped its powers by extending non-discrimination to the private sector. In other words, government can require non-discrimination in organizations tha...

      Finally I can turn on the TV without having to watch Arlen Specter Swiftboating Joe Sestak’s military career, nor do I have to put up with Sestak holding forth on Specter’s switch of parties and cozying up to President George Bush throughout most of his Senatorial career.       Both stories were true; Sestak repeatedly showed a clip of Specter admitting he changed parties in order to be re-e-lec-ted, and another of President Bush telling how he could always count on Arlen. Of the two, the switching of parties was probably the most effective; in the eyes of the voters it branded Specter as untrustworthy and not a true Democrat.       As to Sestak’s military record, the following is from the Navy Times of July 25, 2005: “Deputy Chief of Naval Operations (DCNO) Vice Adm. Joseph Sestak was administratively reassigned July 25 by new Chief of Naval Operations Adm. Mike Mullen, according to Rear Adm. T. McCreary...

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" Emma Lazarus – The New Colossus (On the base of the Statue of Liberty)       The State of Arizona recently passed a strict immigration law which gives the police broad powers to detain any person suspected of being in the country illegally. Unless suspects are carrying proper documentation, it is the intention the law to prosecute and deport them.       Officers are not only allowed to question suspects - they are required to do so. Anyone who thinks police officers are not enforcing the law is allowed to sue the local government or agency. Not carrying immigration papers at all times is a misdemeanor. Several other states, including Pennsylvania, are considering passage of similar legislation.       A...

      [The Lord] said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate.”       Genesis – New Revised Standard Version.       One of the tasks I had to perform at my job as a cost accountant was to speak to factory foremen to determine the cause of irregularities in production costs. In particular, one man stands out in my memory; his first response when I asked about a problem was always, “Whose responsibility is that?”       It was not my job to establish responsibility – my job was to 1.) pinpoint the problem, 2.) fix it, and 3.) set up safeguards so that it didn’t happen again. But the foreman’s first impulse was to determine where to point the finger. (No, not that finger.)       When I had my accounting busin...

      President Obama has nominated his second Supreme Court Justice, Elena Kagan. Already a minor feeding frenzy has started. If she has ever had so much as a traffic ticket it will come out in the next few weeks. And like living in a small town, if they can’t find anything bad to say about her, they’ll make something up.       Since she has never had judicial experience, there is no way to look back and evaluate her decisions, however, as the dean of Harvard Law School, she has published enough articles so that one can get some idea of her approach to the law.       But what she has written has already taken second place to what people prefer to believe she has said. And to make matters even more confusing, as part of her previous positions as counsel to President Clinton, and Solicitor General for President Obama, she has had to defend some positions that do not necessarily agree with her written positions. ...

      Prior to 2007, Pennsylvania retirement communities were exempt from real estate taxes on property utilized for assisted living residents. Property utilized for independent living residents, administrative offices, etc., was taxable. In 2007 the Pennsylvania Supreme Court decided that if an organization met the requirements for classification as a charitable institution, all its property was exempt. The exemption is not automatic; the institution must apply for it. Several retirement communities have done so, causing considerable controversy. The following letter was sent to local newspapers.       Editor, Lancaster Newspapers,       Editor, Lititz Record Express,       There has been considerable controversy recently concerning the elimination of property taxes paid by retirement communities. As long as the exemption is available, we think it is incumbent upon them to decide w...

      Some time ago Barbara and I attended the show Midlife! The Crisis Musical . It was recommended by a neighbor, who said it was hilarious. He was correct. I thought I recognized some of the characters, then I realized I was seeing myself.       Two scenes in particular hit home: In one a man walked into a room and couldn't remember what he was looking for; the other was of two men in a doctor's office, waiting for a prostate exam. I could identify closely with both situations, which I am sure are familiar to any man who has reached the age of 50.       We do not see plays as often as we used to. Since we have been in Pennsylvania (2004) we have gone to six or eight plays – approximately one per year. At one time we held season tickets to several playhouses – sometimes two at the same time. (Different dates of course). I estimate we saw at least 150 plays during the 37 years we lived in Califo...

      My mother has been gone for almost 60 years, and I still miss her. Several years ago I wrote the following item about her for my web page. It lists just a few things I remember – there is no mention of the fact that she was also my cook, maid, shopper, seamstress, nurse, teacher, counselor and general “go to” person for every emergency, large or small.       And although I suppose she sometimes felt pretty good about some of my small accomplishments, I also gave her headaches which no amount of aspirin could cure. If your mother is still with you, take it from me – you will never be able to repay her for all the hats she wore. Let her know you appreciate her. ****** My Mother       In addition to being a wife and mother, she was a musician, seamstress, and part time waitress. My favorite time of the day was while she had dinner cooking, and with a few minutes of spare time on her hands, she would sit down...

      Probably most people born before 1930 can remember where they were and what they were doing when they heard that the Japanese had attacked Pearl Harbor. Likewise most born before 1950 remember their location and activity when they heard of the assassination of president Kennedy. And I am sure that people born prior to 1990 remember where they were and what they were doing on September 11, 2001. Why bring this up?       In 1996 I purchased a computer program for recording a daily journal. I faithfully kept it up every day through 2004. At that point I discovered that everything dated between July 28 and October 25 of that year had disappeared from my hard drive. Gone! Zilch! Nada! And the software company no longer serviced the program! To say that I was upset would be an understatement.       So beginning in 2005 I started keeping my daily journal on a new program – one for which technical services were a...

      Recently I read that 50% of Americans believe in guardian angels – supernatural beings that protect individuals from harm. Stories abound about people who were in dire trouble, and an angel showed up to remedy the situation. Here are two:       A lady is driving down a deserted country road at night, and gets a flat tire. Not having a cell phone, and with no idea how to change a tire, she apparently will be stranded for quite some time. Suddenly a man shows up out of the darkness, and changes her tire for her. When she goes for her purse to offer him some money, he is no longer there. He must have been an angel.       A driver is waiting at a red traffic light. When the light changes to green, he tries to drive, but his car refuses to move. While he is trying to get going, a careless driver speeds through the red light, after which our driver's car moves just fine. If his car had moved when he first trie...

      The Encarta Dictionary defines the term double-entendre as “ambiguity in which one meaning is sexually suggestive.” Although it’s true that this category is often the home of the risqué pun, I think that definition is way too narrow; I expanded this category to include any joke with a double meaning. For example, a mondegreen (see my blog of August 31, 2009) is not even recognized as a joke when it happens, but it becomes humorous when it is retold. If someone mistakes the hymn, “Gladly the Cross I’d Bear” for “Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear,” it is not funny until someone retells it. For that reason, I consider the retelling of mondegreens, or for that matter any misunderstood words, as being jokes in the double-entendre category. Some of the following examples are rated TVMA14-D.       Question: What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?       Answer: You can unscrew a light bulb *...

      Jokes in Category 6, distortion of ideas, take some generally accepted viewpoint of life, and twist it to the point where the outcome is completely unexpected. As the 1909 Times article says, “The simplest is the deformity of something that is regarded as good manners, or good morals, or dead certain to happen. Twist it around and the joke lies in having your story come out the other way.” Two examples follow:       The fairway at the ABC Country Club ran alongside a highway. As one foursome played along the course, a funeral procession passed by. One of the golfers removed his cap and held it over his heart until all the cars had passed. Another member of the foursome commented upon how touched he was that his partner had shown so much respect for the deceased, to which the respectful golfer replied, “Well, it was the least I could do. We would have been married twenty-five years next Saturday.” ******     ...

      In some languages the subject of a sentence is indicated by its ending. If words are written out of their normal sequence, the reader can still make sense of the sentence. For example, in such a language, if I write “man bites dog” when I really mean to write “dog bites man,” the reader still understands what I mean to say because the ending of “dog” indicates that it is the subject, not the object, of the sentence.       Not so in English. Obviously, the wrong word order can completely change the meaning of a sentence.       This characteristic of the language is a source of jokes for Category 5: Distortion of language. Here is an example. Warning – This story is rated TVMA14–L. ****** Upon seeing a beautiful, statuesque nurse, a patient remarked about her to the doctor: Patient: “You certainly have a beautiful nurse.” Doctor: “Yes, she is very beautiful, but she always gets things backwards. If I t...