Monday, July 5, 2010

Back On Line - Sort Of

      I don’t want to bore you with a recap of my activities during the past ten days, so I will try to keep it short.
      For several years my legs have been getting weaker and my balance has been deteriorating, and the doctors finally decided it was due to a pinched nerve in my back. So I decided to go ahead with an operation to relieve the pressure.
      It worked great – I have had very little pain, and although I have not been able to navigate too well since the operation, it is due to “complications” which seem to accompany much surgery, especially for post-youths such as me. If I had known about them, I might not have gone through with it.
      Anyway, the night of the operation, my bladder refused to cooperate. After a night of really, really, really bad pain, they finally got around to relieving the problem, at least temporarily.
      I promised to marry the nurse who finally took care of it, although the bitch could have done it hours earlier. They sent me home with a short-term fix, hoping that the problem would soon resolve itself.
      After two late-night trips to the ER, they finally decided that a longer-term solution was in order, so they taught me to be a do-it-yourselfer. I now have a month’s supply of evil looking plastic tubing, and more K-Y Jelly than I have previously used in my entire lifetime.
      If you know anyone who has a job opening, say at summer camp, for an expert at putting hot dogs on a stick, I’m your man.

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