Thursday, May 19, 2011

Bizarre , Wacky and Unique Holidays

     I came across an item on Today which stated that Saturday, May 14th was World Naked Gardening Day. Thinking it was some kind of a gag, I did a little research, and it not only was not a gag – I discovered a couple of other nude holidays: June 11th is Naked Bike Riding Day and June 21st is Nude Hiking Day. Who knew?
     Although I know some gardeners, I am pretty sure that none of them celebrated WNGD. I can't blame them because the weather was rather cold and damp, although that probably had nothing to do with their non-celebration of this great event.
     I also know some bikers and hikers, and while the weather will probably be more agreeable in June, I doubt that anyone I know will be celebrating these little-known holidays. But I'll keep my eyes open, just in case.
     During my research, I discovered that there are many unusual holidays; in fact, every day of the year has two or three. I have compiled a list of some that I thought were interesting for no particular reason - one for each month:
     January 16th – National Nothing Day. The idea is that we do nothing on, for or about this day. To promote it is to violate the spirit of this day. It's a day to non-celebrate...nothing.
     February 27th – How appropriate, my birthday is on National No Brainer Day. This is the day to eschew anything that requires thinking, study, research or analysis. To think that I've been celebrating this day all year long, and didn't even know it!
     March 21st – Fragrance Day. Guys, buy your sweetie something that smells good today. In the old days when people bathed Spring and Fall whether they needed it or not, perfumes and other fragrances were the only things that kept the world livable. These days fragrances make the world delightful. If you do buy her a fragrance, don't get yourself into a situation like the following:
The silly fragrance that Willie sent,
Was very displeasing to Millicent.
Her thanks was so cold
They argued, I'm told,
Because of the silly scent Willie sent Millicent.
     April – The Monday after Easter – Dyngus Day. This is a day of fun inherited from Poland. Using squirt guns, buckets or other containers of water, the guys attempt to drench the gals. More romantic guys use cologne instead of water. On Tuesday the girls get back by throwing dishes or crockery at the guys. A strange way to meet potential mates, but I understand it works very well in Polish-American communities. Perhaps this is the forerunner of speed dating.
     May 8th – No Socks Day. It's self-evident how one celebrates this day. If you are such a celebrant, you may notice that your friends tend to stay upwind. If you don't celebrate it, you will probably figure out very quickly who does. This holiday is copyrighted by
     May 9th – Although the two are not technically related, I couldn't mention No Socks Day without tying it in to Lost Sock Memorial Day. If you have loads of unmatched socks, you need to be celebrating this day. And give some thought to disposing of the unmatched ones; the matches never show up.
     June 3rd – Repeat Day is a good day to do something you enjoy over and over. Repeat Day is a good day to do something you enjoy over and over. Enough said? Enough said?
     July 27th – Take Your Pants For A Walk Day is easy to celebrate, just take a walk – unless you are wearing a skirt, your pants will go with you. You can doubly celebrate by carrying a second pair.
     August 13th – Left Handers Day is for 10% of the world's population, including me: the lefties. As every lefty knows, it's a right-handed world. If you doubt it, I suggest you try the following: (1) Pick up a scissors and use it in your left hand, or (2) Use your computer mouse with your left hand. We lefties deserve a day of our own. Remember: Everyone is born left-handed; you get switched over when you commit your first sin. Question: In the town of Left Hand, West Virginia, is everyone a Left Hander?
     September 1st – Emma M. Nutt Day commemorates the date on which a woman first became a telephone operator. Today electronic switching has practically eliminated the job. Emma once said she was "very thankful that my first name was not Imma." I'll bet she was.
     October 7th or 14th – There is some confusion over which day Bald and Free Day is to be celebrated, but it is definitely either the 7th or the 14th - take your pick. On this holiday I really appreciate the freedom from thinking about such things as, “Will I lose my hair? What can I do about these bad hair days?” and other assorted worries. Although I do need a haircut every five or six weeks, I smile when I see other guys spending time and money on hair sprays, combs and other such “necessities.” In addition, it is part of the tradition that on this day all bald jokes are outlawed. Remember, God made only a few perfect heads – the rest He covered with hair.
     November 9th – Chaos Never Dies Day recognizes the disorder in both the cosmos and the daily life. Scientists use the word “entropy” to describe the rampant disorder in the cosmos. The rest of us use the term “hectic” to describe the disorder in daily life; such things as frenzied deadlines, unruly teenagers, traffic snarls, unexpected emergencies, etc. Today is the day to draw a bubble bath, light a candle, read a book and get away from it all.
     December 18th – National Suckling Pig Day. A suckling pig is a piglet which has not been weaned from its mother. Today is the day to roast one, although you may have to look up the recipe. If you can't find it, go out and order one at a restaurant. It's the day to take a little time off from the holiday hubbub.
     That does it – 13 odd holidays. If you want to see a thousand or so more of these, Bizarre , Wacky and Unique Holidays is the place to look. Or create one of your own.

     One problem with the [Russell] theory was that there are some events that look like they are a “persistence of something,” but are not, and Russell’s theory could not distinguish between real causal processes and so-called pseudo processes. For example, a moving spot of light at time t on a wall seems to be related to the spot at t-1 and also at t+1, but it’s not. Each manifestation of the spot is related to the interaction of the light source and the wall, not the preceding spot. Likewise, a shadow appears to be related causally to itself in the interval between t-1 and t+1, but again it is related only to the interaction of the light source, the intervening body and the ground.
     Causality – The Spirit Runs Through It.

“The Spirit Runs Through It” and “There Are Only Seven Jokes” are available in paperback, or at the Kindle Store.

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