Thursday, April 29, 2010

There Are Only Seven Jokes - Category 1

      The first category of jokes is a distortion of truth, in other words, a lie. Here is a clear example:
Ram and Sham were talking together:
RAM: Do you drink?
SHAM: No,no at all.
RAM: Do you smoke?
SHAM: No,not at all.
RAM: Do you do anything which is not socially acceptable?
SHAM: Yes, I just tell lies.
(Jokes Galore)
      Although their I.Q. range is pretty much the same as that of the population as a whole, certain sets of people, e.g., blondes, Pollocks, Irish, Jews and other ethnic groups have been singled out for special ridicule. Supposedly the gullibility of these folks makes them easy targets for the lie, therefore many of the jokes at the expense of these groups fall into this category. Hence the following:
A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.
      The blonde woman replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."
      After repeated attempts and no success convincing the woman to return to economy, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.
      The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."
      The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."
      He kneels down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.
      The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.
      "I told her first class isn't going to Chicago."
      As I mentioned yesterday, I ask my readers to click each day on the “Comments” link below, and record any thoughts or additions they may have to the list.
      The category for tomorrow is distortion of the human body. By definition jokes in this category tend to be rather graphic, so beware – don’t say I didn’t warn you.
      We often do not realize that the past creates the present which in turn creates the future. Using the entities available at timet-1, the creative process transforms and transcends them to create the entities at timet, which transform into the entities at timet+1, timet+2, . . . ,timet+n.
      Introduction – The Spirit Runs Through It.

The book and/or a free look inside is available in paperback or on Kindle at Amazon

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