Saturday, March 27, 2010

There's An App For That

      I do not have an iPhone or an iPod, neither do I Tweet. But I have been seeing the commercials for apps, you know, the ones that say, “Yeh, there’s an app for that,” and I got curious to see what all is out there.
      I found that there are many handy apps available: you can check your email, run some business programs, listen to music, you name it.
      But in addition, there are many, many apps that do strange, weird or stupid things. Here are a few of them:
  1. iPhone Toilet Sound. If body sounds embarrass you when you use a public restroom, this app plays the sound of a toilet flushing. It can be set to run for 30 seconds to two minutes, and is loud enough to overpower those “nasty” sounds.
  2. iFart. The opposite of app 1 above. Needs no explanation. Makes a variety of sounds that keep juveniles giggling for hours.
  3. Runpee. If your bladder is not large enough to last throughout an entire movie, this app tells you when the low points in the action are coming so you can run and pee. Among other “exciting” things, it tells you what you missed while you were out.
  4. Drunk Dialer. If you have a habit of dialing friends while you are in a tipsy state late at night, this app will not let you dial after midnight unless you are holding the iPhone absolutely steady. Your friends will let you know when you need this.
  5. Torch. Turns your iPhone screen bright white so that you can use it to find the keyhole.
  6. Annoy-A-Teen. About the time you reach the 20s, you begin to lose the ability to hear very high pitched sounds. This app generates such sounds in order to irritate, and hopefully drive away, any teens in your vicinity. No longer do you have to put up with an annoying bunch of adolescents while enjoying a Big Mac.
  7. iQuit. For smokers who want to quit. Displays a large assortment of pictures showing horrible pictures of things that can happen to lungs, etc. if you don’t quit.
  8. Voodoo Doll Revenge. Paste a picture of your ex or your nasty boss onto the voodoo doll in your iPhone, and stick it with pins, tear it apart, set it on fire, or whatever exquisite torture you think is apropos. Does it work? Who knows?
      This is a very small sample of the weird stuff available. Want to see more? Yeh, there’s an app for that.

      From Newborn, to crawler, to toddler, and then on through elementary school, high school and college, and finally to middle age, the transitions were amazing.
      On another day I probably would not notice such changes because of my familiarity with human development, but seeing the entire progression spread out before me brought them forcibly to my attention.
      In the following pages we shall explore these transitions and determine what relationships, if any, might exist between them.
      Foreword – The Spirit Runs Through It.

To read more excerpts from this book, click here.

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